


I don't want this night to end

by Willowisdarkagain



Category: Holby City
Genre: Chance Meeting, F/F, fluff smut angst all in one night, they work at the same hospital but they're not friends yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 11:30:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12480568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowisdarkagain/pseuds/Willowisdarkagain
Summary: They start the evening as practical strangers, could that change in the space of a night?





	I don't want this night to end

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to TwoBeatsAtOne. Hope you like it and if you leave a comment I'll be very happy:)

Bernie pushes the pub door open and the warm, thick air hits her. She takes off her black leather gloves and unfasten her camel coat. She looks up and immediately knows something is wrong. She scans quickly the room. There are mostly men, the music is low and no one is talking except a couple sitting at the bar. Their voices are loud and angry. The man is not very tall but sturdy. Bernie sees him precariously standing up and grabbing the woman’s wrist. Those closer to them turn their backs, the others keep silently minding their own business. It’s a cop bar, Bernie thinks, and she’s sure none of them will cross a colleague. She marches to the bar and falters when she recognizes the woman.  
“Serena, right?” She recovers quickly.  
“And who the hell are you?” The man shouts.  
“Are you alright?” Bernie keeps addressing Serena, completely ignoring him.  
“Um.” Serena frowns and tilts her head.  
“Bernie, Bernie Wolfe.”  
“Oh, sure. Bernie this is Robbie. I was just telling him to fuck off.” Serena slurs drunkenly.  
“I see. And how is it going for you?”  
“I don’t think he agrees.” Serena leans too much off her stool and Bernie has to push her back. Serena finds it incredibly funny and laughs.  
“Well, Robbie, you heard the lady. Why don’t you start by letting go of her arm?”  
He walks closer to her. “Or what?” The white of his eyes are red and his breath is so alcoholic Bernie has to restrain herself not to step back.  
“Or I’ll have to make you.” She says flatly.  
Serena is too drunk to mind the pain on her wrist and she just stares curiously at Bernie.  
Robbie laughs and Bernie sighs. This is not how she imagined her evening. She moves swiftly and Robbie’s head hits the counter. She holds it there while she turns his arm. He loses his grip on Serena and she retrieves her hand. Bernie hears all the chairs in pub scraping the floor. Glances at the mirror behind the counter and sees everybody standing up. Bernie lets go of Robbie and smiles trying to deflate the tension in the room. “He’s perfectly fine, I’m a doctor.” She gives Serena her coat and purse and holds her up by the waist. “We’re leaving.”  
At every step they take more men come between them and the door. Serena can’t take her eyes off Bernie, Bernie just wants to get out of the place.  
“You’re hot.” Serena says loudly.  
“You’re pissed.” Bernie replies, gently pushing the last guy aside and finally opening the door. 

Serena leans heavily on Bernie. “Can you walk?”  
“Are you gonna carry me?” Serena says batting her eyelashes.  
“I’d rather not.”  
“Oh, right. You blow up on an IED. Now I remember. How’s your back?”  
“It was better before the IED.” Bernie grunts holding Serena closer. “Don’t fall on me.”  
“I’m not that drunk.”  
“Ha!”  
“You would have drunk too, he’s so boring.” Serena mumbles.  
Bernie spots her car and opens the door for Serena. She gets in too and turns on the engine. “Where do you live?”  
“That way.” Serena points in a general direction and pulls down the window. “Why were you there?”  
“The pub? Coincidence.”  
“Turn right. Do you have some water?”  
“I think. Check under your seat.”  
Serena bents down and her head starts spinning very, very fast. “Shit.”  
“You’re not going to throw up in my car, are you?” Bernie says worried.  
“Of course not! I never throw up.” She drinks from the bottle of water. “Fuck, this will be really embarrassing tomorrow. Will you… Will you please not tell anybody at the hospital?”  
“I’m good with secrets.”  
Serena glares at her. “Do you have many?”  
Bernie shrugs. “Who doesn’t?”  
Serena puts her arm out of the window. “He’s not my boyfriend. He used to be. I… Do you ever feel lonely?”  
Bernie thinks of Marcus, Alex, the real reason why she was in the pub. “Sometimes.”  
“Are you married?”  
“No. Well technically, yes. He filed the divorce papers a couple of months ago.”  
“Bastard.”  
And the resentment in Serena’s voice only awakes Bernie’s guilt. “No, he was… he was right.”  
“They’re never right.”  
“You might be a bit biased by tonight’s events.” Bernie says closing her coat.  
“May I? Yes, probably. They can’t be all bad, can they? Otherwise there’s not hope for us too.”  
Bernie is used to pretend in conversation with straight women but she’s not going to feed this one. “Can you close the window a bit? It’s freezing.”  
Serena struggles to find the button and Bernie closes it from her side.  
“My house is at the end of this road. The brick red one.”  
Bernie parks and turns off the engine. “I’ll take you inside.”  
“Yes. No. Can you, can you…” Serena breathes out. “It’s empty. The house I mean, it’s so empty that I called Robbie.”  
Bernie frowns, disappointed. “Are you going to call him again?”  
“No, God no. But… can we drive for a little bit?”  
Serena is nervously biting her lip. Her hair is disheveled and there’s a button on her shirt that should be closed but it isn’t. Bernie curses herself. “Where to?”  
Serena releases her tortured lip and smiles. “Did you grow up here?”  
“No.”  
“There’s a place I used to go. It’s very quiet and there’s a beautiful view.”  
“Alright.”  
Serena gives her some indications and Bernie drives. It’s half past ten on a weekday and there are few cars around.  
“You must think I’m a nutter.” Serena says suddenly cheerful. “Well, I am. Not during the day though.”  
“That’s reassuring since you cut people up and all.” Bernie smirks checking the red traffic light.  
“I haven’t thanked you for what you did at the pub.”  
“It was nothing.” Bernie says taking off.  
“Big macho army medic, are we?”  
“If you say so.” Bernie pretends to be bothered but they both know she’s enjoying Serena’s banter.  
“Was it military training back at the pub?”  
“It was more growing up with two brothers.”  
Serena laughs. “If you don’t mind, I’ll always remember a handsome lieutenant saving my honor.”  
“Major.”  
“Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!”  
“Are you quite done? I’m not gonna save you next time if you keep making fun of me.”  
“Let’s hope I won’t be needing saving then, because making you blush is rapidly becoming my favorite hobby.”  
“Blushing?” Bernie says smugly. “Majors don’t blush.”  
Serena leans closer and whispers. “It’s a good thing you retired then, because when I told you you’re hot in the pub, you blushed like a schoolgirl.”  
Bernie has to stop at another red light. She turns to her only to find Serena still very close. “Do you always flirt like this or are you still awfully drunk?”  
“Why? Do you want to make a pass at me?”  
And Bernie feels her skin becoming red and warm.  
“Oh, I see. Well, I couldn’t operate an heavy machinery but I’m lucid enough.” She sits back. “Turn right at the next junction.”  
Bernie does in silence and Serena worries she has gone too far, talked too much. Bernie has been so nice to her and Serena has only made her uncomfortable in return. And she’s not so sure she can blame the alcohol.  
“There’s an open space at the end of this hill. You can stop there.” Bernie nods absently and Serena desperately wants to make things right. “I’m sorry if I bothered you. It’s my stupid way of joking. I’m straight, don’t worry.”  
Bernie snorts then burst into a laugh.  
“What’s so funny?”  
“Look where you brought me!” Bernie stops the car and points at the few others parked with fogged windows.  
“Oh, yes.” Now it’s Serena that’s blushing. “But the view is pretty, isn’t it?” She offers lamely.  
Bernie can’t stop laughing at how ridiculous her life is. She rests her head on the wheel and cleans a few tears.  
“Maybe it’s enough now?” Serena suggests a little offended.  
“It’s not you, it’s me.”  
“We’re breaking up already.”  
Bernie recovers but still has a grin on her face. “Well you’re straight, it was kind of a non-starter.”  
“It served me well!” Serena tilts her head. “What do you mean ‘you are straight’?”  
Bernie’s eyes get wide. “Um… Exactly that. You… You just declared your straightness.”  
“Yes but the way you said it, like it was only… Oh, I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”  
Bernie sees the worry in Serena’s eyes and wants to reassure her but her throat is closed, her mouth can’t move. She has said she’s straight too many times. To herself, to strangers. She doesn’t want to say it ever again. “Do you want to go home?”  
“No.” Serena hurries and takes Bernie’s hand. “If you don’t mind the people shagging all around, I’d like to stay.” She smiles warmly and Bernie releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding.  
“Well, luckily they’re not loud.”  
“They’re very respectful for being teenagers.”  
“And you used to come here.”  
“With a couple of boyfriends before my husband.” Serena looks down at their holding hands and Bernie moves hers hastily away. Serena hisses in pain.  
“What is it? Did I hurt you?”  
Serena tilts slightly her head. “How could you possibly have hurt me? It’s the wrist. I guess the alcohol was serving as an analgesic.”  
Bernie takes her hand again and pushes the coat sleeve up. “Let me check.” There are a couple of bruises and Bernie touches the skin, pressing on the bones. She puts her palm on Serena’s and bents it slowly at ninety degrees up and down. “I think it’s fine. But now I wish I’d hurt that idiot more. What?” Bernie looks up and Serena is staring at her, eyes dark and intense. “What?” She says again and Serena shakes her head.  
“Nothing, thanks.” She gives Bernie a little smile and leans back on her seat. “This car is really small. Don’t you have children? A dog?”  
“I have two. Children, not dogs. But they’re grown ups and I hardly see one, never mind the two of them at the same time.”  
From the tone of Bernie’s voice Serena understands she has touched a delicate subject. Again. “I’m sorry I seem to put my foot in my mouth more often than usual tonight. And, really, I just want to…”  
Bernie waits because it feels the right thing to do.  
“I just want to enjoy each other company. I like being with you.” Serena frowns unsatisfied with her choice of words. “I sound like one of those teenagers. I usually can be more articulate.”  
“I can’t. Well, if it’s about a splenic artery aneurysm then I can talk for hours, otherwise… I might bore you to death I’m afraid.”  
“I’ll take the chance.” Serena says and sees a beautiful, shy smile appearing on Bernie’s face.  
A young boy knocks on Bernie’s window. “Do you have a condom?” He spots Serena and looks confused for a moment. “Oh, sorry I didn’t… Sorry, again.” He starts to walk away but Serena calls him back.  
“Can you open the window?” She asks Bernie while searching in her purse. She finds a condom and passes it to the boy who grabs it in front of Bernie.  
“Cheers!” The boys smiles and leaves.  
Bernie’s face is unreadable.  
“What? It’s not like I need one anymore.” Serena says but Bernie occupies herself with closing the window. “Talk to me.”  
“I have nothing to say. Apart that I’m glad you’re a responsible adult.”  
“You look disappointed.”  
“Why would I be?” But she is disappointed, with herself for needing a reminding of what tonight is about. “Are you hungry?”  
“A bit.”  
Bernie checks her watch. “I think at this time we can only find a McDonald’s or something. Is it ok?”  
“Yes, why not. It’s been a while, I think the last time I went was with Elinor.”  
Bernie turns the car on. “Elinor?”  
“My daughter. She’s at uni, now.”  
They talk about their children and Bernie doesn’t find it so difficult being friendly and not letting her mind wander. It’s easier with her eyes on the road, not looking at Serena, just listen to her voice. It has a beautiful rhythm, if Bernie concentrates enough, she think she can find a melody in her words.  
They see the bright golden arch on the side of the street and Bernie signals. “Here we are.”  
It’s big and seamy and almost empty. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have taken you here.” Bernie apologizes.  
Serena takes her arm and smirks. “Come on, we’ve been doing teenagers things all night. It suits perfectly.”  
“Crispy McBacon large diet coke.” Bernie says at the girl before she can ask anything. Serena glares at her. “What? I’m divorced and I work full time, where do you think I eat after a twelve hours shift?”  
Serena shakes her head and turns to the girl. “The same.”  
“You shouldn’t have paid.” Bernie mumbles when they sit at the table.  
“You saved me! It’s the least I can do.”  
“Oh not again.”  
“You’re very modest for a knight in a shining armor. I wouldn’t be. I’d probably go saving a different woman every night. Man. Woman.” Serena frowns. “It doesn’t really work the other way around, does it?”  
“Your knight career was very short lived, Serena.” Bernie bites her burger.  
“With the right knight it’s not so bad being the damsel in distress.”  
Bernie coughs and takes a sip of her coke.  
“Tired of the metaphor?” Serena grins.  
“It’s just… I don’t like violence.”  
“You were a soldier.”  
“Army medic. And being a soldier it’s not about violence. It shouldn’t be anyway.”  
Serena takes her hand. “I’m sorry I’ve put you in that situation.”  
“It wasn’t you, it was him.”  
Serena intertwines their fingers. “But at least we’ve met.”  
“We already knew each other. Well, I knew you.” Bernie is incredibly aware of every little movement of Serena’s fingers and forces herself to stay as still as possible.  
“Are you ever going to tell me why you were in that pub?”  
“My son he… It sounds a bit weird but he set me on a date, a blind date. Of sorts. He show me a picture so I don’t know if it counts as strictly blind. I’ll never…”  
Serena cuts her short. “With a cop?”  
“Yes.”  
“Well, I can tell you doctor-cop relationships never work.”  
“Yes, I gathered that. Especially when that idiot grabbed your arm and she did absolutely nothing.” Bernie freezes because she’s being dancing around the subject all night but now she just said ‘she’ and Serena’s fingers are suddenly as still as hers.  
“So we were both going out with idiots.” Serena says just to fill the silence.  
“My rep as a knight is shot now. Damn.” Bernie tries to joke and takes her hand back but Serena holds tighter. Bernie looks around not sure of what to do.  
And Serena thinks how beautiful she is even under the unforgiving lights of the place. She can’t tell why she’s elated that Bernie is not on a date, even if it costed her some bruises on the wrist. There’s something else in her mind but it’s just out of reach, she’s sure she’ll get there, she only needs more time. “I don’t want this night to end.”  
Bernie’s eyes shoot up. “What do you mean?”  
“I don’t know, that’s as far as I’ve got.”  
Bernie nods. “We can decide later. Are you going to eat?”  
Serena has completely forgotten the food in front of her. “Maybe I should.” She takes a crisps.  
They eat in silence, holding hands. It makes everything slower but none of them complains.  
“Maybe we could go to the hospital.” Bernie cleans her mouth with a napkin.  
“The hospital?”  
“On the roof.” Serena squints her eyes and Bernie backs off. “Sorry, it was a stupid idea.”  
“No, no it wasn’t. We can… Nobody can see us though, too many questions.”  
Bernie smirks. “I know a way.”

They’re at a back entrance of the hospital. “You have to follow me and be very quiet, ok?” Bernie whispers.  
“It’s an emergency exit, how do you intend to open it?”  
“We’ve know each other for almost four hours, you need to start trusting me.” Bernie pushes the door open. “It’s broken.”  
“Did you..”  
“Of course I didn’t break it! What crazy question is that? Now shush.”  
“Yes sir!”  
Bernie glares at her and then enters. She checks the corridor. Empty. She takes Serena’s sleeve and pulls her in the next corridor. A nurse exits a room and enters another. Bernie can hear Serena muffling a laugh. She turns to her and Serena mouths. “It’s Fletch.”  
“Who?”  
“Never mind.”  
Bernie gestures her to the stairs and starts a countdown with her fingers. Three. Two. One. They ran and reach the stairs. They stop at the second floor to catch their breath. Serena laughs and laughs and Bernie laughs with her, feeling inebriated. She hears the door on the first floor opening and pushes Serena against the wall, her hand on her mouth. She can feel her smiling and maybe a kiss on her palm but she’s not sure. No one is coming and Bernie steps back, takes her hand and together they climb the rest of the stairs. They get on the roof and Serena can swear she’s more drunk now than at any other time tonight. She stumbles and Bernie catches her. Serena thinks that she just has to keep stumbling to touch Bernie’s lips. That it would be just that, gravity. And maybe Bernie is always being the sun, waiting for her.  
Someone in the dark clears his throat and Bernie’s chest clenches in pain because she’s almost got what she wanted and now Serena is standing far away with a terrified look on her face.  
“Hi Bernie, Miss Campbell.” Dom steps into the light.  
“Oh, it’s you.” Bernie says a little relieved.  
“Yeah, little old me. I was leaving.” He looks at Serena and he’s never seen her so petrified. “Actually, I’ve never been here. Not tonight anyway.” He jogs away and they stay motionless until they can’t hear him anymore.  
Bernie walks to Serena. “I’m sorry.” She touches her shoulder and Serena flinches away. “He won’t tell anyone.”  
Serena is sober, painfully sober for the first time in hours. “How can you say that?”  
“I know him. And… he knows me.” Bernie means it as a reassurance but Serena pales.  
“Oh, great! Just great! So he knows!”  
Bernie wants to run, glimpses at the door but forces herself to stay, to defend herself. “It’s not a bad thing, it’s not a bad word.”  
“You can’t even say it, Bernie. All night, a thousand turns of phrase. You have a problem saying you’re gay, not me.”  
“But it’s a problem if that word is for you.”  
“Of course, it is! I’m not…” Serena rubs her hands on her face. “I just don’t want people gossiping about me. I don’t care if they say that I’m gay or that I run a bondage club in Soho. I just don’t want them talking. At all.”  
“They won’t. Dom won’t tell anybody. And what would he say anyway? That we were on the roof?”  
Serena gapes at her.  
“He didn’t see that.” Bernie whispers a bit ashamed for trying to denying what almost happened.  
“For God’s sake, what’s wrong with you and actual words? Kiss, I wanted to kiss you.” Serena turns around and heads for the door.  
“I’m not a knight.” Bernie’s voice carries in the silence of the night. And Serena stops. “There’s nothing shining about me. I’m human and a coward most of the time. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but bashing a bloke’s head on a counter it’s just muscle memory.” Bernie breathes, hands in her pockets. She bounces slowly on her heels and looks up at the sky. “I really would have liked that kiss.” When she looks down again Serena is staring at her.  
“Take me home.”

They leave the hospital the same way they entered it. Serena watches Bernie driving in silence. The street lights playing on her face, making it softer. But Serena can see how tense her jaw is, how white her knuckles are around the wheel.  
Bernie parks in front of Serena’s house. Serena doesn’t move and Bernie gets out to open her door.  
“Thanks.” Serena startles at how dry her throat is.  
Bernie nods and closes the door.  
“Would you… the night is not over yet.” Serena giggles, her nerves having the best of her, and then gets terribly serious. “Would you come inside?”  
“Are you sure?”  
“I am.” But Bernie’s eyes are so dark and frail that Serena loses all her certainty. “We can talk and…”  
Bernie blinks and her eyes change.  
Serena hurries. “No, I don’t want to talk, I don’t know why I said that.”  
Bernie takes the key from the car and presses the alarm button. Serena steadies herself and walks to the front door. She can hear Bernie’s heels clicking behind her and her heart beating fast. She lets Bernie in and hangs her coat. Bernie does the same. They stand awkwardly in the hall.  
“Maybe it wasn’t a good idea.” Bernie says when Serena lowers her eyes.  
“I’m old.”  
“What?”  
Serena looks up again. “I’m old and I have old habits. And I like to have them, they’re comfortable and easy to play out whenever I need them. But you… You are new. I’ll have to learn something new.” Serena walks to her. “Your eyes, the way you look at me, you can’t expect me to get used to it. Not tonight. Not ever.” She brushes her fingers on Bernie’s face. “These cheekbones… God you are so soft. If I touch you, how can I touch anyone else? Your mouth is open, you’re breathing is shallow and I can see your pulse, it’s going too fast. Tell me what it means.”  
Bernie pulls her close and kisses her sweet and hard, the way she has imagined it all night. Serena whimpers once, twice until she lost count.  
Bernie wants to stop, take her to bed, be kind and gentle. She thinks she should move slow and careful because Serena has never been with a woman and she feel responsible. But when she tries to break the kiss Serena mumbles against her mouth. “Don’t hold back, don’t do that to me now.”  
Serena is scared that if they stop she’ll lose all her courage. And she doesn’t want to ruin this, whatever it is, whatever it might become. She needs to go forward. And hopes that Bernie will understand without a conversation she doesn’t want to have now.  
Bernie does what she’s told. She pushes Serena in the kitchen, throws a chair on the floor and pins Serena against the table. It doesn’t take an effort to give Serena what she wants, it’s a relief being asked to be herself for once. Like she’s enough, like she’s everything.  
She’s never teared anyone’s clothes apart, she’s never felt it necessary. But now it is, she needs to see Serena’s skin right now. And the shirt breaks easily under her hands, makes a harsh noise and Serena groans. Bernie wants to hear more of that. She kisses and bites and sucks Serena’s breast and each time she’s rewarded with a different moan.  
She lifts Serena’s skirt up to her waist and shoves her hand into her knickers. “Oh God.” Bernie gasps because Serena is so wet and her desire for Bernie so incredibly tangible all of a sudden.  
“Don’t you dare to stop.” Serena’s voice starts like an order and ends like a plea.  
“I don’t think I could.” Bernie pushes two fingers inside and bites Serena’s shoulder because she doesn’t want to say anything else. She has told herself so many times tonight not think about this, not to imagine how it would feel kissing her, being inside of her. And now she has, and now she is.  
“Talk to me. I want to hear your voice.” Serena demands breathless.  
Bernie kisses her. “What do you want to know? How much I like fucking you?”  
“Yes.”  
“How good you feel on my fingers?” Bernie adds a third, moves faster and harder. “Are you gonna come for me, Serena? I really want to see you come.”  
Serena comes with a scream and Bernie holds her tight and kisses her cheek, her hair. Whispers how beautiful she is. Then gets on her knees and licks her inner thigh, brushes her nose on Serena’s curls and starts moving her fingers again. Serena gasps but then puts her hands on Bernie’s head and pulls her closer. Bernie smiles and licks her.  
Serena’s hips buckle and she feels vaguely guilty but Bernie moans and she tightens the grip on her hair. “I want to do this to you.” She feels Bernie halting for a moment and then starting again those circles and lines and whatever else she’s doing that it’s so utterly perfect. Serena wonders how Bernie will taste in her mouth and it takes her breath away how much she wants to know. How urgent is this need and how much it turns her on just thinking about it.  
“Open your eyes.” Serena asks and when Bernie does, Serena is sure she’s never seen anyone so beautiful. And it’s Bernie’s fingers and mouth and perfection that make her come again.  
Bernie sits on her heels and licks her fingers clean. Then leaves a kiss on Serena’s hip and stands up. “Ok?”  
“That’s quite the understatement.”  
Bernie kisses her sweetly. “I’m an understatement kind of girl.”  
“I noticed that. You shouldn’t be.”  
“And what should I be?”  
“Naked on my bed.”  
Bernie laughs. “I could already be if you only showed me more than the hallway and the kitchen.”  
Serena brushes a blonde lock behind Bernie’s ear. “You didn’t seem desperate for a tour.”  
“You showed me what I wanted most.”  
“It’s only fair that you repay me in kind.” Serena kisses her neck but Bernie pulls slightly back.  
“You don’t have to…”  
Serena cuts her short. “You think I’d shag you out of what, moral debt?”  
“So you do want to shag me.” Bernie smirks. “Um, I thought you were very straight.”  
“I didn’t lie when I told you. I might have changed my mind since.”  
“Might?”  
Serena shrugs. “It’s a process.”  
“Am I in this process?”  
“I can’t imagine anyone else.” Serena kisses her and takes her hand. They go upstairs and make love while the first lights of day come through the window.


End file.
